The Good Shirt Shop II

We return to our weekly theme of awful Christian merchandise, and again, we come to t-shirts. Why? Because they’re abysmal, to be quite frank. Brace yourself.

1. Where to start? Let’s take ‘Jehovah’s Fitness.’ A ‘play’ on the phrase ‘Jehovah’s Witness.’ Har-har. I’m as appreciative of puns as the next person (probably more so, given the next person’s dislike of puns and finely crafted wordplays, and my love of such humour) but usually when they have a point. But no, let’s withhold judgement just for a moment, because maybe the next sentence will clarify things:

‘Sprinting for Jesus.’

It didn’t. Not only did it not clarify it, it muddies the waters like a cross-country runner’s post-race bath. I’m well aware that we followers of Jesus are to live out whole life discipleship, and that we should aim to honour God in all we do: sprinting; pie-eating; all the categories in between. But what exactly does ‘sprinting for Jesus’ mean? I’m not sure this is something he particularly laid down in any of his teaching, unless I missed the chapter on ‘Jesus Speaks To The Local Athletics Club.’

2. This has good and bad elements. Let’s go for the bad first, and try and end on a happy note.

First, you will, at first glance, look like a prize tool wearing this t-shirt. People will stare at you extra funny, and in such a way you can’t begin to think that it’s your dashing good looks that are attracting glances. You run the risk of people assuming that you view yourself as a bastion of perfection, better than others, and altogether smug.

However, the more I think about this t-shirt, the more clever it is. The wearer, presumably, will be a normal person, one for whom perfection is a long way off. It would still garner unpleasant and plentiful looks, but the point about it being worn by someone who is less than holy, yet still fits the bill of being a ‘christian’ is a good one. We are just normal, every day, uncool, broken and failing people. This IS what a Christian looks like.

3. My one big question with this t-shirt is: ‘WHAT?!’

I actually don’t understand. This isn’t really a Christian t-shirt, is it? I can think of a few places in the world where this slogan would be useful, and aside from the phrase ‘Oh, God!’ being uttered in both, I can think of very few similarities with churches or Christian institutions.

It’s not even a phrase taken from the Bible, and considering it’s found in the woman’s section in The Good Shirt Shop (yes, those ARE shadows), it’s not a t-shirt for over-zealous and theologically-dubious males regarding their home life.

If anyone could shed any light on this… thing, I’d appreciate it.

I think my work is done here. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend.